Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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