put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
