I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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