Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize