her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
