if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
