so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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