Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
this just has baby written all over it
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
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