We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
