is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
