NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
