Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
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