just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Randomize
