how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Randomize
