Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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