I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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