New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I would ride that face into the sunset
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Randomize