i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
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