some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
