I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize