ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
