The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Randomize
