Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
