Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
