Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
I don't think brook has ever known best
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
he fucked my hip out of place.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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