How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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