You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
