i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Randomize
