fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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