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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
