Whatcha textin bout Willis?
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Randomize
