i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Randomize
