Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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