that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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