i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
