"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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