i permit you to call me
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
