So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
