More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Randomize
