called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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