No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
You took a bar mat shot.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
