All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
