woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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