Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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