Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
