Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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