i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize