i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
