but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
