just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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