just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
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