She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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