I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
