who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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