Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
