He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
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