There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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