i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
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