Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
