Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize