Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Randomize
