You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Randomize
