i just google imaged poop.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
