if only i could text you this smell
lets start a swedish sibling band together
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
