I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
The adults are the big ones right?
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
