Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
