I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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