Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
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