windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Of course I have a pirate flag
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
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