shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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