Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
