yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize