She said her name was "party"
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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