Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Randomize
