ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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